Deogratias: One Goodbye and Two Hellos

We said good-bye to my Uncle Jim a couple of weeks ago, and it was a sad occasion indeed. He was my father's only and younger sibling, and the two had lived in the same town for about 15 or so years. My uncle had been ill with leukemia for a few years now, and had taken a turn for the worse two months earlier, but even so, death always seems to take us by surprise.

Above is a photo of Jim with my son Alex taken a couple of years ago.

My greatest hope after learning of Jim's death was that I could locate his estranged daughter Marie and notify her. She was raised in California, and remained there after Jim moved back east. She and her father lost contact when she was about 16 years old, and since that time he had little to say about her. I have always felt a longing to find her, but never tried before now. Unfortunately, I have had little luck so far.

I found a letter among Jim's things which included a photograph of herself and her two children. There was even a drawing by her daughter Christine addressed to her grandfather. So sad. I sent a card to the address on her letter asking her to call or e-mail me. I'm hoping, but getting less and less optimistic as time goes by.

Jim's other daughter Donna, her husband and her mother flew down from Virginia for the funeral, and for this I am grateful. Divorce and distance resulted in the two of us only seeing each other at funerals. First there was Rosie (our great grandmother who died in the 1970s) , next Grandaddy in 1988 and Granny 2005. It is one bright spot in all of these sad events, as I like Donna very much and enjoy her company. I always say that one day we'll make the trek to Virginia to visit them. But then it never happens.

Another happy hello for me at the funeral was seeing my second cousin Craig, whom I haven't seen in 25 years or more. His mother and my father were first cousins, and even though we grew up in the same town, we rarely saw each other. He's four years older, and he was always busy with his musical studies.

Craig provided the music at my uncle's funeral mass, and it was truly incredible. He brought a soloist whose voice was absolutely breathtaking and he played the organ. Accompanying them, along with the church choir, was a lovely harp player. This was a totally unexpected treat.

Craig is a graduate of Julliard and has a Master's in music from Yale University, and he has played the organ and studied in Paris and London. Soon he'll begin a new job as a Music Director at a church in Staten Island NY.

Craig was so thrilled when we told him that our son Alex is a pianist, that he asked Alex to play for him at my father's house. Then he was so thrilled with Alex's playing that he called a friend and asked her to listen. After we returned home from the funeral trip, Craig called us and offered to take Alex and me to the symphony. At age 50, he found the first relative who is also a musician.

So, last Thursday, the three of us saw The Atlanta Symphony with guest conductor and violinist Itzhak Perlman. We really enjoyed sitting on the 2nd row where we could get an awesome view of the musicians and watch the conductor. We enjoyed ourselves so much, and have decided that we'll go for close-up seats whenever we go to the symphony from now on.

The family gathering after the funeral was at my dad's house, of course. The only pictures I took of the event were of my father playing cards with Nicholas and Andrew, which was a huge treat for them.

And of Craig playing Linda's piano